Forgotten
by Grapefall
Summary: Does true love exist? Can it reach those who've fallen from grace? Or is it just a grownup version of Santa Claus, a myth we've been fed since childhood? For a shunned hero & a streetwalker, the answer will soon be revealed. SeiferXZell, plz R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**The Forgotten**

Chapter I: Chance Meeting

"45 seconds to curtain, Mr. Dincht." The stage assistant called.

"O-okay.." Zell said softly, his voice reaching barely above a whisper as he looked down at his trembling hands. Of course, to see his hands, he had to look over the large stuffed bra he was wearing. He'd been an "intimate dancer" at this joint for three weeks already, but every night he was scared. He was scared because he knew that with every lap dance, with every blow job he gave out behind the curtain of the VIP room for 40 Gil, he died a little inside.

Things weren't always this way. At least, not before Squall died. Squall took care of him...Squall loved him. But that all ended the night Squall made the choice to get behind the wheel after downing a 12-pack.

He was so drunk that he barely made the drive home, and when he got out of the car, was struck by lightning.

Squall was the main breadwinner, so once he was out of the picture, Zell was forced to make it on his own, and the only work he could find was stripping in drag at the tittie bar in Balamb.

Zell reached up and made sure his blonde wig was on right, and adjusted his leather corset, which clashed with his cheetah-print miniskirt.

"And now introducing, the sexy, mysterious, and irresistible Cleo Butterkiss!" A voice from on-stage called. And with that, the curtains pulled open and Zell was met with the hot, glaring stage light.

He immediately went into his trance, a plane of conscience far away from the reality that he was simulating lewd acts for nothing more than spare change being tossed at him. He walked onto the stage, sultry and sexy, stepping out onto the stage with an inviting sense of confidence. He ran a hand down his chest, delightfully teasing his bosom.

And Zell danced. He danced like he did every night; the same old routine he'd developed in this run-down hovel.

He groaned softly as his crotch rubbed against the pole, but then something, or someone rather, caught his eye. But before he could register the face, his attention went to the other side of the stage, where a man had begun tossing gil. Swallowing his pride just like he had to every night in this joint, Zell seductively slipped down to his knees and crawled towards the man tossing the money.

"Hey babe, what do you say you and I blow this joint altogether?" The man offered, offering a broad smile that exposed his mouth, which had several teeth missing.

"Oh, thanks for the offer baby..but this joint is my kind of place.." Zell said in a soft, whispery voice. One of the reasons he'd got the job was his very good impersonation of a female voice.

The man looked dissappointed, and Zell quickly scooped up the money and slipped it down his bra before turning away.

As he stood up and faced the other side of the stage, the same person caught his eye again.

It was then that Zell looked closer, and saw that face.

His face.

It was Seifer.

He was sitting alone at a small table not 30 feet away, watching with a cheap smirk on his face as he nodded softly to the beat of the music. Zell's heart leapt up into his throat, and he tried not to scream in horror. He maintained his composure miraculously, as he started to walk down the steps onto the floor. Maybe, just maybe, Seifer wouldn't recognize him..

As he walked towards the blond-haired man, several of the men started shoving gil dollars into his panties. He smiled and cooed at them in thanks, but inside, he wanted to die. Shame, humiliation, so many bad feelings and yet all of them reared their heads every night he was here.

He made it over to Seifer's table, and tried to resist his body's trembling. What was he doing? Did he really want to do this? Shoving the table aside, Zell started to give Seifer a lap dance. He moved sensually up and down Seifer's hips. After a few moments of rubbing his behind against the growing bulge in Seifer's pants, he sat down on Seifer's lap and leaned back so that his head rested on Seifer's shoulder.

Smiling, Zell wiped off the drool that had formed on Seifer's mouth with his index finger and then stuck it in Seifer's mouth. It had worked. He didn't recognize him. Sucking lustfully, Seifer looked down on the smaller man in drag, past his fake eyelashes and into his eyes. Zell pulled out his finger with a wet pop, and caressed Seifer's sizeable package.

Seifer grinned. "Hello, chicken-wuss.." he said softly.

Gasping, Zell leaped to his feet. Unable to stop his tears, he bolted out of the bar and into the back alley.

He left behind Seifer, who, with a shocked expression, stood up and prepared to go after him.  



	2. Chapter 2

Chapter II: Private Dancer

Seifer opened the door marked EMERGENCY EXIT, and stepped out into the back alley. Despite the darkness, he could make out the graffiti spray painted all over the plaster wall of the crack house that stood opposite of the tittie bar. The alley smelled strongly of booze and urine. Lying next to the door he had just come through was one of many contributors to the smell, a drunken fool who had come to the bar for both cheap thrills and cheap beer. Seifer sighed in disgust.

He couldn't believe that Raijin had talked him into coming to such a trashy place. He supposed that it was a good thing that Zell decided to attempt the lap dance while Raijin was indisposed in the presumably filthy bathroom after deciding that the bar's bean dip was worth trying. Seifer was pretty sure that the big lug's bawdy "Bwahahahaha" would have been reason enough to cause some serious injury.

He heard a noise coming from behind some trash cans overflowing with empty beer bottles and moldy bean dip. Trying to keep himself from gagging on the stench, he strolled over and peered behind the dented aluminum cans.

"Chicken-wuss?"

Zell was sitting on the cracked pavement, his legs pulled to his chest, his chin resting on his bruised knees. The blonde wig he had been wearing lay in a disheveled mess at his feet, blistered by tightly bound six inch red stiletto heels.

"Go away," Zell said, trying to hide his tears.

"Now, Chicken-wuss, is that any way to greet an old friend?" Seifer smirked.

"Friend?" Zell repeated acidly. "You've never been anything but a dick to me. Now leave me alone."

Seifer looked long and hard at the sniveling young man. What had happened to make his former classmate at Balamb Garden reduce himself to selling his body like meat in a butcher's window? Seifer dug into his pocket and pulled out some tissues. He then crouched down to Zell's level, and gently lifted the crying man's chin.

"Lift up your head," Seifer said compassionately. "Wash off your mascara. Here, take my Kleenex, wipe that lipstick away."

"Seifer?"

"Zell, this place isn't you," he said. "Why are you here?"

"...I needed money," Zell admitted, lowering his eyes to the pavement. "This was the only place that would hire me."

"What happened to your distinguished Garden career?"

"Squall and I were asked to leave when we took our relationship public," Zell replied quietly. "We didn't mind too much. Squall found work, and he supported me... But then ... he..." Zell burst into tears once more.

Seifer took pity upon the poor man, and immediately pulled him into an embrace. Zell welcomed this sympathy gratefully, and buried his face into the grey trenchcoat that Seifer wore, sobbing uncontrollably. Seifer couldn't help it, Zell's situation pulled at his heartstrings. It wasn't too long ago that he himself was stuck in a position where his only opportunities were found in the gutter. Gently, he caressed Zell's hair, mangled from being covered by his wig.

"Seifer," Zell said, "I'm all alone. Nobody cares about me anymore. I have no one to turn to."

"No, Zell." Seifer's eyes met Zell's. "You're not alone... I care."

Overcome with emotion, Zell leaned forward and pressed his lips against Seifer's. The taller man was at first startled, but in a moment's passing welcomed the kiss. Pleased by the return of affection, Zell wrapped his arms around Seifer's neck, and deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue into Seifer's mouth. A soft moan escaped from Seifer's lips, and he swore that the temperature was beginning to rise. He began to carefully unclasp Zell's leather bustier...

"Yo, Seifer, where are ya!"

The sound of Raijin's voice caused the man in the grey trenchcoat to suddenly pull away. He stood up quickly and brushed himself off. He couldn't let Raijin see him making out with Zell. He wasn't sure Raijin would quite understand just what was going on.

"Seifer," Zell pleaded.

"Sorry, I have to go." Seifer turned to face him once more. "Zell, just remember, you shouldn't betray yourself for anyone."

"Seifer, where the hell are ya, ya know!"

Seifer ran out of the alley, leaving Zell to wonder as to what had just transpired between the two...


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter III: Payback

Seifer sat in the passenger side of the car as Raijin drove, his mind entirely on Zell and the kiss between them. Did it mean anything beyond a desperate cry for help? If so, were the feelings reciprocated? Seifer was very full of angst, self-doubt and confusion.

He was so lost in thought that he didn't realize that the car had pulled up to his apartment building. Raijin snapped him out of his trance with a punch on the shoulder.

"Hey, you're home now, ya know?" He said gruffly.

Seifer faked a smile. "Cool, hey, I had a great night, thanks." He said dully.

"No problem, no problem. You just really need to get out more often, ya know?" Raijin said with genuine concern. "I told ya there was some fine tail in there. And how about that Cleo Butterkiss? Damn I'd like to see her ass without those panties on!"

Seifer coughed. "Thanks for the ride man, I'll call you tomorrow."

And with that, he opened the door and was out on the pavement. Raijin's car bolted off into the cool night air, leaving Seifer alone in the silence and the dim light cast from the street lamp. He frowned lightly as he entered the building, deep in thought.

Zell looked sadly into the vanity mirror in his dressing room. He slipped out of his whorish clothes, and ran his fingers lightly over his abdomen as he stared at his nude body in the reflection. His fingers lightly passed over the numerous scars he received due to the ravages of his profession. Being a stripdancer was hard, but being a prostitute was even harder.

Prostitute. The word entered his mind and he slumped over, forehead on the mirror, and sobbed fresh tears. It had become his way of life. Get up, scrounge something from his cockroach-infested kitchen, come to the strip joint, and then walk the streets. Then he went home, broken down and tired, and got up to do it all over again the next day. He was a tramp, a slut, nothing of value to anyone.

He looked up at himself in the mirror and wiped away his smeared mascara with a handkerchief. He slowly slipped into his pair of tight leather pants and a top that exposed his midrift. Giving one final glance to himself in the mirror, he slipped out of the dressing room and into the dark alleyway.

Seifer sat in the darkness of his apartment, staring out the window into the darkness of the sky. It was cold out there..he wondered if Zell had a warm place to go home to.

"Dammit!" Seifer yelled, hurling the glass of vodka that was in his hand towards the wall. It shattered with a clash, and then there was once again silence. He wasn't able to get the once-perky young man out of his head. And that hot little body he'd never noticed Zell had..

Standing up, Seifer decided to go out for a walk to get his mind off things.

Zell stepped out into the alleyway, immediately welcomed by the darkness. It was a partner of his trade… when a John was doing his business, Zell focused his mind on the darkness, and how it enveloped him, smothering him comfortingly…

He started walking down the alley, the clacking of his high-heels and the beating of his heart the only sounds. He had nearly made it to the street before he was attacked.

Out of nowhere, two men emerged from the darkness and grabbed Zell, pinning him to the wall. He let out a shriek, but it was cut short by a gloved hand covering his mouth. Through the dim light of the street lamp some distance away, he vaguely recognized the faces.

"You're part of Kinneas' gang!" He gasped once the thug lowered his hand. He struggled feebly against his captors, but they were far too strong for him.

"Well, well, Jiggs, it seems we've got a smart little one here." One of the men joked. The other laughed mockingly, and lifted up a knife to Zell's throat.

"We hear you've been holding out on our boss, little man." He spat menacingly, holding the knife just under Zell's chin. "You know how irritated he gets when he doesn't get his payment. After all, he watches out for you and does you some favors out here…and that's how you pay him thanks?"

Zell scowled, even though he was shaking with fear. "Tell that cheap pimp Irvine that he'll get his money soon enough!" He choked out.

The first man backed off slightly, and gave a smile that bared all of his rotted teeth. "Why don't you tell him yerself?" He said, and as soon as he had finished, another man emerged from the shadows.

With dark hair and green sunglasses on, Irvine slowly approached Zell, a silent air of rage about him. "You seem to be forgetting your place, whore." Irvine said through clenched teeth. "It's thanks to me and my 'financial assistance' that you even have a nice little apartment to go home to." He finished, smacking Zell hard across the cheek.

Zell coughed and fell forward, a spat of blood hurling onto the pavement.

Irvine smiled sadistically. "Kill him. The little bitch has proven he ain't a wise investment no more."

One of the men grabbed Zell by the hair, and pulled him up against the wall once more. He lifted his head up, exposing Zell's neck while the other man readied the knife.

"Hey, what the hell is going on here!"

Shocked, Irvine and the thugs looked at the alleyway's exit leading to the street. There stood Seifer.

"Let him go right now, you bastards!" Seifer commanded loudly.

The two thugs immediately obeyed, letting go of Zell, who slumped to the ground. Irvine slowly started backing away, until he and his thugs had busted out into a run.

"I'll find you, you bitch! And when I do I swear that they won't be able to tell your face from fuckin' ground meat!" Irvine shouted, and then he was off.

Zell lay sobbing, and Seifer ran over to him in concern.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter IV: Revelatory

"Zell!" Seifer cradled the battered man's head in his arms. "Don't worry, they won't hurt you anymore..."

"You ... you came back..."

"Of course I came back," Seifer said, "I couldn't ... Well, I wondered if you had a place to sleep for the night."

"Yeah, sorta." Zell told him, sitting up. "Although I'm not so sure it's safe to go there now. Irvine's gang might be waiting for me."

"I never would have imagined that Irvine would become so heartless." Seifer shook his head.

"I think his heart went along with Selphie when she chose to live with Shumi rather than marry him. He was devastated."

Seifer stood, pulling Zell up with him. "Anyway, how about you come and spend the night at my place? There's an extra bedroom, and a shower you can use."

"Really?" Zell smiled halfheartedly. "Thanks, I really appreciate it."

"Anything for a friend." Seifer grinned back at him. "Now come on, let's get out of this place."

Zell stepped out of the shower, feeling cleaner than he had in weeks. In the tub, all the residue of make up and filth flowed down the drain, taking the misery that had poisoned him for so long with it. He wiped the mirror clean, and with surprise, found himself staring at the man he used to be, before he sold his soul. No make up, no cheap wigs, no embarrassing corsets... Just Zell.

The young man ventured out into the adjacent bedroom and found the dresser. Seifer had said that Zell was allowed to borrow some of his clothing for the evening. Seifer was providing him with everything; food, clothing, a place to sleep... The only thing that displeased Zell about that situation was that he kind of wished Seifer would share the bed.

Zell blushed at the thought, then opened the top drawer, and his jaw dropped.

It seemed that Seifer had a liking for women's underwear. There was a considerably sized assortment of styles and colors, everything from red lace thongs to purple polka-dotted bikini cuts. Zell slammed the drawer shut, and looked up to make sure that Seifer hadn't seen Zell's discovery. He drew in a sigh of relief, and was about to move on to a hopefully safer drawer, but suddenly had an idea.

He opened the top drawer once more and looked at its contents. Perhaps Seifer would enjoy a naughty surprise. The kiss exchanged between them earlier was fairly intense, and it left Zell wanting more. Seifer had to have felt the same way ... right?

After careful consideration, Zell selected the red thong and, giggling like a school girl, slipped it on. He adjusted himself so that the thong would not give him any discomfort, and then went through the rest of the drawers, eventually picking out a white wife-beater and grey sweatpants to wear. Once fully dressed, he casually walked out into the den, where Seifer was watching television in a bored trance, swirling a glass of vodka in his left hand. He strode over to the seated man, who had taken off the trenchcoat and revealed his rippling biceps with a black sleeveless V-neck shirt, and plopped next to him on the powder blue couch.

"Hey there," Zell greeted, trying to keep his giggles under control.

"Hi." Seifer's trance was broken and he looked over at the shorter man to his right. "What's so funny?"

Zell flashed a huge smile. "Guess what I'm—"

The sound of the door opening interrupted him. Seifer jumped up and bounded to the door, helping the person entering the apartment. Zell's jaw dropped at the sight of the pretty raven-haired woman dropping her keys and purse onto the counter and handing her coat over to Seifer.

"Hi, Rinoa." Seifer kissed her. Zell just gaped in confusion.

"Hi, sweetie." The woman smiled. "How was your—What the hell is _he_ doing here?"

Rinoa had just caught sight of Zell seated on the couch. Zell froze with panic. Rinoa had hated Zell with a passion ever since Squall walked out on her to be with the little blond man, and seeing her reaction, she was none too pleased to see him sitting in Seifer's living room... Why was she in Seifer's living room anyway?

"Relax, Rinny," Seifer tried to calm her. "Zell's having ... some ... habitational problems at the moment, and he needed a place to stay for the night, so ... I offered him our extra bedroom."

'Our extra bedroom?' Zell repeated to himself.

Rinoa paused, rubbing her temples. Seifer went to put his arm around her, but she pulled away.

"Couldn't he stay in a hotel?" she asked, the pressure of trying not to yell evident in her voice.

"He can't afford it."

"Am I supposed to care?"

"Rinoa—"

"Seifer!" Rinoa's voice raised sharply. "I don't want that ... that fag in our home!"

Zell looked away, hurt by the comment.

"But Rin, he has nowhere to go!" Seifer cried.

Rinoa glared at Seifer for a moment, her nostrils flaring at she heavily breathed in and out. Seifer stepped back, ready to put up arms if she decided to kill him on the spot.

"You know what?" Rinoa spoke through clenched teeth. "Fine, Seifer. He can stay. But if he's still here in the morning, I'm gone. Got it?"

Seifer nodded, his eyes wide, not wanting to dare piss her off even further.

"Good." She walked past him to the bedroom door. "I'm going to bed."

She slammed the door shut with a loud bang. Two seconds later, the door reopened, and she dropped a pillow on the floor.

"You're sleeping on the couch tonight," she said to Seifer abruptly.

"But—"

"Don't speak," she ordered. "I know just what you're saying, so please stop explaining. I'm very angry with you right now, and I don't want to hear anymore of it." She slammed the door closed once more.

Without saying anything, Seifer walked over and picked up the pillow. He returned to the couch and sat down. He held the pillow tightly against his chest, and stared blankly at the television screen in front of him. Zell suddenly felt terrible.

"So, um," Zell tried to break the silence. "What's with you and Rinoa?"

Seifer turned to look at the shorter man, sadness in his eyes.

"Rinoa's my fiancée..."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter V: Male Bonding

"Rinoa's my fiancée..."

Zell went numb as Seifer uttered those damning words. So Seifer didn't have any interest in him at all. He was just trying to help a battered and bruised streetwalker, nothing more.

Disappointment and desperation flooded Zell, sending jolts of disappointment through his body. The pain went from his mind downwards, past his shirt, and into his groin, upon which he realized he was actually wearing Rinoa's lingerie. In the back of his mind, Zell thanked God that Rinoa saved him embarrassment by bursting through the door before he was able to tell Seifer what he was wearing.

Lost in himself, Zell finally came to, and responded to Seifer.

"Oh...that's wonderful. I'm so happy for you two." He choked out.

"Hey, it's okay...you don't have to lie." Seifer said dismissingly, looking away.

Zell's heart leapt into his throat. Did Seifer have a hunch that Zell was so attracted to him? The pangs of disappointment were replaced by a creeping nervousness.

"I mean, I know a lot of people don't like Rinoa. She's definitely a bit rash, but...well, she put out on our first date, you see. And she's game for stuff most women would puke simply at the thought of." Seifer said solemnly.

Zell felt bittersweet relief, but he said nothing. Instead he chose to stare ahead at the wall, doing everything in his power to resist tears of shame and desperation. Seifer had come into his life at this point as a beacon of light, one he wanted to grab onto and embrace and hold forever, but it was all a fluke.

Seifer was also silent, and before either of them could even attempt to make small talk, the bedroom door opened and out walked Rinoa. She didn't so much walk as she did float as if made from a pure cloud of bitchiness and evil. She went into the kitchen, poured a glass of water, and silently floated back to her room on her cloud of bitchiness and fury.

When she closed the door behind her, Zell let out a slight sigh of relief. They sat in silence again for a moment, until Seifer turned and faced Zell.

"Zell...tell me...how did you fall so low? You deserve better than this." He said sincerely.

Zell reluctantly looked into Seifer's piercing eyes and tried to find his voice.

"Well...it's really just a tale as old as time, a tune as old as song, you know? Boy meets boy. Boy falls in love with boy. Boy dies. Boy is left to fend for himself. Boy slips into prostitution and strip dancing. Boy...prays for death." Zell finished the last line near silently, looking down at his hands.

"Zell, please don't say that." Seifer said warmly, and reached over to take Zell's hand. "Just because things are rough, doesn't mean your life is over. Maybe I can help you get back on your feet."

Zell scoffed. "Well, you've seen what your future wife thinks of me..." He spat, his voice breaking.

Seifer paused a moment. Unsure of what to say, he reached for the first thought. "I never took you for a fag though." He said, and immediately wanted to beat himself with a baseball bat.

Zell looked at Seifer with tears in his eyes. "Gee, thanks so much," He said through tears. He stood up from the couch and started down the hall.

"I'll leave in the morning before you wake up. Remind Rinoa to wash the sheets though, I'm sure you wouldn't want that street smell to linger!" He called back, audibly sobbing.

Seifer moved to get off the couch and comfort and apologize to Zell, but something caught his eye.

"Hey Zell, what's that red thing sticking out from behind your pants?"


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Hey guys! I am so glad that people are reading this story. I wish I'd get some more reviews though. So if any of you readers don't mind, hey, let me know what you think. Iwant to be the best reader possible, and I need feedback in order to do it. :-) Blessed be. - Grapefall

Chapter VI: Closeted Thoughts

"Uh..." Zell could feel his face flushing redder than his racy undergarment. "It's nothing. Yeah, it's nothing at all. I'm going to sleep now. Good night!"

Zell ran into the guest room and slammed the door shut. Seifer decided that it might not be a good idea to find out whatever that thing on Zell's butt was...

Seifer suddenly sat up in realization. He was just looking at Zell's ass. Here he was, in the place he shared with his beautiful, albeit a walking mass of estrogen, fiancée, whose heart had been broken by a man who left her for another man, and he was checking out another guy. Well, not just any guy, but the guy who her last boyfriend left her for, which was probably far worse than anything else. The last thing he wanted to do was anger Rinoa even more. She might be easier than a color by numbers book, but she gave him a chance after everything he had done.

After the Ultimecia fiasco, he had pretty much ousted himself from society. Fujin and Raijin stuck by him, as always, but they couldn't help him earn the trust of an employer or a landlord. He had sunk so low, any lower and he could have easily been in Zell's situation, dancing in drag and giving some sleazeball head in an alley just so he could afford a loaf of stale bread.

Then by chance, he encountered Rinoa at a bar one night. Squall had only left her a short time before and she was downing shots to forget her sorrow. When she couldn't sit in her seat without falling over, he took her home. One thing led to another, and well... She was happy that there was someone there to make her forget her troubles. She let him move in, and used her influence to get him a job at the local weapons store. She gave him a chance, and before long, he found himself down on one knee, asking her to be his wife.

Although, truth be told, Seifer was never really sure that he was in love with Rinoa. Sure, she had done so much for him, and was a dynamite in the sack, but gratitude and great sex didn't exactly qualify as love in his mind. It didn't matter anyhow, he couldn't find someone else if he tried...

But the kiss between him and Zell earlier... Try as he might, Seifer couldn't get it out of his head. That kiss had to be one of the most intense he had ever experienced, and he had his share of kisses during his years at Garden. There was so much emotion, so much passion, as though they were the only two people in the entire world, and... What the hell was he doing? Zell was only reaching out for help. Nothing more. Zell might prefer the company of men, but just because Seifer was a guy and there did not mean Zell liked him romantically...

Seifer groaned in annoyance at his spinning thoughts and stuffed his face into his pillow.

Zell lay awake in the bed, feeling like he had been off to war and may never be the same again. He stared at the ceiling, trying to keep himself from crying. He had shed far too many tears tonight.

So Seifer was engaged to Rinoa. Big deal, right?... So why was he so jealous and hurt? Why was he thinking about someone new when Squall probably was only just beginning to decompose in his grave?

Zell glanced at the clock. 3:30AM. Seifer had to be asleep by now. Perhaps he should just sneak out now while no one notices. He could return Seifer's (and Rinoa's) clothing later. He rose from the bed, and opened the bedroom door as carefully as possible. He crept down the hall to the den, and headed for the front door.

"Chicken-wuss?"

"Dammit," Zell muttered under his breath. "Hi, Seif."

"Where are you going at this hour?" He saw Seifer sitting up on the couch.

"I, uh..."

"Why are you leaving?"

Zell's shoulders sunk in defeat. "I thought it would be best if I just go home—"

"Zell, no." Seifer switched on a lamp, then indicated for Zell to sit down next to him. "Irvine is probably still waiting for you back at your apartment..."

"So?" Zell sat, and Seifer stood.

"I'll put on some coffee," the taller man said.

While Seifer plugged in the coffee maker and began hunting for cups, Zell sat quietly on the couch. Feeling uncomfortable, he looked around the room.

"Nice place you have here," Zell said.

"Thanks," Seifer replied, pouring coffee into cups. "It's really Rinoa's, though."

"Oh." Another awkward moment of silence passed between them before Zell suddenly thought of something. "Seifer ... why were you at the club tonight?"

Seifer walked in and handed Zell a cup of coffee.

"Well," Seifer said as he sat down again, "it was Raijin's idea to hold my bachelor party there. I think it was mere coincidence he chose the joint where you work."

"Bachelor party?" Zell looked at him strangely. "That was kind of a crappy party, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, but it's not like I have any other friends to celebrate an upcoming wedding with," Seifer reminded him. "I just had to take what I can get."

"But if that was your bachelor party, it means you're getting married soon, right?"

"In two days."

Zell wasn't sure if he saw a flicker of uncertainty pass through Seifer's eyes.

After a period of awkward silence, the taller man glanced at the clock.

"Oh geez, it's 6 o'clock," he said. "Rinoa will be up in an hour."

"I'd better leave now then." Zell stood up.

"Wait." Seifer also stood. "I'll go with you, just in case we run into Irvine and his thugs."

And so, as quietly as possible, the two men crept out of the apartment and out into the street as daylight began to make its way into Balamb.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter VII: Living in Despair

Zell and Seifer exited the apartment building, and the rising sun hit Zell's eyes, causing him to blink while his eyes adjusted. He heard Seifer's footsteps behind him, and he began walking down the sidewalk.

"So," Seifer started behind him. "Where exactly do you live?"

Zell held his breath. "On the east side of town...near the docks."

Seifer didn't say anything. The east end of town, especially near the docks, was ghetto central, shadowing a stark contrast against the rest of the generally bright and colorful town. It was inhabited by the poorest of the poor, reserved for those who took only the worst falls from grace, society deserting them to a life of pandering to the drug and sex trade.

The two walked on in silence, past the opening markets and people emerging from their homes into the morning air. Before long they reached the train station and moved past, the environment slowly changing from one of bright and pleasant to downtrodden slums.

As he followed behind the smaller man, Seifer watched on as Zell walked through the dinghy streets with a depressing sense of familiarity. Like it or not, this had become Zell's home; his unbearably reality. It was then Seifer realized just how small and fragile Zell seemed, like a lost little boy in a dark and confusing world, one he could never understand despite his best attempts to do just that. This world he was surrounded in was so harsh, so brutal and unforgiving, that it seemed like almost a miracle that his little body wasn't broken yet as his hopes had been.

This reality also made Seifer reflect on his own self. Would he have had the strength to live like this? Probably not, he decided. It seemed bitterly ironic that he had called Zell a wuss before, only now realizing just how much stronger Zell was than he.

He was torn from his thoughts when a dank, grungy old man approached Zell. Seifer felt his heart leap in fear as he prepared to defend Zell if necessary from an attacker.

"'Ey Christ lad," The old man said through his toothless mouth. "I'ze been looking for ye...didn't see you around last night, aye?" He finished, with a chuckle.

"Oh, I was staying at a friend's house last night.." Zell said softly, pointing at Seifer behind him. "So I wasn't working."

"Ah see...well, a bit short on change I am, whaddya think of a bit o' a freebie now?" The haggard relic of a man offered pleadingly.

Zell shook his head. "Sorry, I ain't working...and I need the money, love."

"Aw, a bit of bad luck for us both then?" The man spat out, defeated.

Zell nodded. "Yes.."

And with that, Zell walked away, and Seifer quickly followed suit, now walking alongside the shorter man.

"Who the hell was that?" Seifer asked in quiet disgust.

Zell smirked slightly. "Pierre...one of my regulars. He's one of the few nice ones out here, and he pays well...at least when he doesn't blow his money on booze."

Seifer felt his heart sink painfully. To Zell, that disgusting, inhumane slimeball as one of the "nice ones"? Had Zell really slipped so far as to see such a husk of a human being as not a disgusting street urchin, but as a gentleman?

"Here it is." Zell said, stopping at a horribly dilapidated building with boarded up windows. The building looked to have at one time been blue, but the painting had long since faded. The door opened with a creak, and Seifer followed Zell inside. They walked down the hall, and Zell stopped at the apartment with the number 18 on the door. He unlocked the door with his key, and they went inside.

The first thing Seifer noticed was the smell. It hit him like a freight train, and it took all he had to not start gagging. The smell of something, if not everything, rotting surrounded him.

"Sorry about the mess.." Zell said as he walked in, pointing at the faded and ripped sofa that had dirty clothes stacked on it. He breezed through the living room and into the kitchen, and Seifer slowly followed. The floorboards creaked uneasily beneath him, almost like an alarm that he was some strange intruder who did not belong in this environment.

And it was with yet another pang of sadness that Seifer told himself that Zell didn't belong here either. Unlike Seifer, Zell was one of the great heroes who had helped saved this entire world, and yet the planet could offer him more than this miserable little hovel for him?

Seifer looked down and immediately let out a scream as he jumped back. Two huge cockroaches were swimming around his feet, and he hopped around wildly trying to avoid them. Zell quickly turned around in shock.

"Oh! I'm sorry about the roaches..." Zell said in embarrassment, his cheeks turning red. "I just got used to them, after a while."

"A-ah..n-no, I'm sorry...that was rude. I-it's really not a problem." Seifer choked out, forcing himself to stop his wild dance out of shame. He'd already insulted Zell earlier, and now here he was, criticizing his living conditions.

"Look," Zell said, turning the kitchen facet on, causing fairly green water to come running out. He grabbed a cup from the sink and began pouring himself a glass. "I want to thank you for everything you did for me last night. It was really kind of you, and you didn't have to do it."

Seifer shrugged, trying to remain calm and collected, but most of all, casual. "Oh, it's no problem...what're friends for, right?"

Zell looked up, his eyes flashing. Seifer immediately could read Zell's mind, and it's Bullshit Alarm was going off. They were never friends...they were the most bitter of enemies, and since they had been projected to such importance during the Ultimecia War, their distaste for each other was known the world over.

Seifer frowned. "Look, Zell, I know how things were between us...but...things have changed, you know?" Zell sighed.

"You're right. Things have changed, just look around you. I live in a shithole, and I have to do that because my boyfriend and mother are dead." He said coldly. It had been a well-publicized fact that Zell's mother died shortly after the Ultimecia War.

"I mean, come on, just look at the world around you, there's such wonderful things around you, what more could you be looking for!" Zell laughed bitterly, raising his hands up as though he was presenting his run-down apartment as the epitome of fine living.

"Zell, please...I didn't mean to upset you. I just...I really care about you, and I worry about you." Seifer said sadly, but with sincerity.

Zell was quiet for a moment as he looked down at his counter, which was faded and dirty. "I know, I'm sorry..." He said weakly.

"Hey, it's okay. Actually, I wanted to know...if you'd like to come to my wedding." Seifer offered, hoping Zell would accept.

Zell looked at him and raised his brow. "Are you serious? Wouldn't Rinoa freak out?"

Seifer wanted to say that no, she wouldn't, but he realized that Zell was testing him. If he told a lie of such magnitude, his credibility would be ruined. So he opted out of that particular subject. "It would just be really great to see you there, since no one else from my past will still talk to me or anything...and, maybe it would do you good to get out some. Rinoa has some pretty reach friends, so there might be someone there who can--"

"Help me?" Zell finished his sentence. "Oh, I get it now, and no thanks. I'm not going to drag myself down there to just look pathetic just so you can feel better about yourself for making some false gesture of pity!" He yelled, tears forming in his eyes. He rushed over to Seifer and started pushing him towards the door.

"Get out! Get out of here and don't come back, you bastard!" He cried, and Seifer, shocked, could do nothing but stare at him wide-eyed as he was dragged out the door.

Before he could make so much as a sound, Seifer had the apartment door slammed in his face. He stared for a moment in the near-silence, the only sound Zell's muffled sobs from the other side of the door.

After a long moment, tears formed in his eyes and he closed them so they wouldn't fall down his face. Zell had fallen, and he had fallen farther than most people's wildest nightmares. But it was in that instant that Seifer realized just how far that was...and how it had caused Zell to completely shut everyone out emotionally. He had now witnessed the extent of that change now, and was faced with the stunning realization that Zell had transformed into the persona of his ex-boyfriend when he was at Balamb. Quiet, antisocial, full of pain and doubt...in his despair, Zell had become Squall, regressing into that persona of stone out of a need to protect himself.

Taking out a piece of paper and pencil from his coat pocket, Seifer scribbled something on a piece of paper and set it down next to the door. He sighed, and walked out the front door.

Once the icy morning air hit him, all those feelings rushed to his head and he slouched over, vomiting next to the building's doorway. His head swam as the images around him spun. He coughed weakly, and eventually regained his composure.

Wiping his mouth, Seifer set off, back to the other side of Balamb, and back to his own, and very different life.

Back inside the apartment building, the scribbled note sat in silence on the dirty wood floor.

Balamb Chapel on 23rd street

Monday at 10:00 AM

From inside the apartment, a hand emerged from under the doorway, and pulled the note inside.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: At last, we get to the good stuff. What do I mean? Well, read below to find out. ;-)

Chapter VIII: Hopelessly Lost

As quietly as he could, Seifer pushed open the door and slipped back into his and Rinoa's apartment. Much to his relief, his fiancée had yet to arise from her beauty sleep. He was fairly certain that she would not react well to his accompanying Zell home...

If Zell could find a way to call that crumbling shit hole a home.

Why did bad things happen to good people? Seifer couldn't help but feel the guilt weighing upon his shoulders. He nearly destroyed the world. He should be locked up or executed or something for his crimes... But no, if he really looked at it, he had it easy. A fiancée, two friends, a nice place to live, and his stomach was never forced to tolerate anything more disgusting than Raijin's interpretation of hot wings. He had the privileges that should have belonged to Zell instead.

"Mm, Seifer, are you awake?" Rinoa's voice came from inside the bedroom.

Seifer hesitated for a moment, then half-heartedly answered, "Yes."

The bedroom door opened and Rinoa emerged, dressed in a see-through black lace teddy. Seifer looked at her, surprised to feel little excitement at the sight.

"I wanted to make up for last night," she said in a breathy voice. She approached the blond man ran her hands down his chest and playfully tugged at the sizable package between his legs. Seifer stepped back away from her and looked away.

"What's wrong?" Rinoa asked, more disappointed than concerned by his reaction. "Would you rather screw that pathetic excuse of a human being you dragged in last night?"

"I, uh ... No!"

"Liar!" Rinoa hissed. "Then why did you leave with him an hour ago?"

"What?" Seifer attempted to act as though he had no idea what the dark-haired woman was talking about.

"Don't you 'what' me!" Rinoa cried. "I came out here forty-five minutes ago and you were gone! You went off with him, didn't you!"

"Yes ... no ... I mean ... It's not what you think!" Seifer told her. "I just walked him home."

"Hyne, I did it again!" Rinoa yelled. "First Squall, then you... I must have a thing for gays."

"Rinoa, I'm not gay!" Seifer argued. "You're being ridiculous!"

"Am I, Seifer? Am I really?"

Seifer couldn't be sure if he only did it to silence his fiancée's hysterical ranting, but the next thing he knew, his mouth was pressed forcefully upon her hers, kissing her with the hunger of a starving wolf. Immediately, Rinoa forgot that she had been so upset and welcomed the attention. She reached down and unzipped Seifer's jeans, and within seconds, the two began to fuck like rapid bunnies right against the front door.

Zell sat on the roach infested floor, and stared at the note Seifer had left him. He shouldn't have blown up at the taller man like he did. Seifer wasn't just helping the despondent little man so that his own mind could rest at ease. He really did want to help, and what did he get?

"Completely shit on by me," Zell answered his own question. "Oh, Zell, why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?"

Zell stood up and went into his bedroom. After changing his undergarments, he laid down onto the soiled mattress and eventually drifted into a deep sleep.

"Damn, I need a cigarette now," Rinoa moaned. She leaned against Seifer's shoulders as they laid upon the floor together, sweaty and half naked. Rinoa grinned seductively at her betrothed, while he stared blankly across the room.

He didn't love her. He never loved her. What had just transpired between them wasn't even based in lust. The whole engagement had been based on gratitude, one that had already come with the price of her tyrannical behavior. He had only given her what she wanted just to prove a meaningless point...

Little did she know that he fantasized about someone else while they were having sex...

It wasn't another woman.

"Zell..."

Zell opened his eyes, and his jaw dropped.

"...Squall?"

The late ex-Commander of Garden stood right before his eyes, surrounded by an aura of white light. Zell tried to sit up, but Squall gestured for him to stop.

"You don't belong here..."

"I know," Zell admitted. Somehow he felt as though saying that lifted one of the many burden upon his shoulders. "But how am I supposed to get out? I can't find a decent job, no one wants to be bothered with me..."

"Seifer..."

"But, I..."

"You're having doubts."

"Yes," Zell confessed.

Squall raised an eyebrow. "Because ... you're starting to feel the same feelings for him as you had for me."

"...Yes."

Squall gently took Zell's hand. "Zell, it's time to move on. It's time to let another into your heart and end your suffering."

Zell gazed into the deep blue eyes of his deceased lover. Letting go of his pain... A new beginning with someone else... If Squall believed it was possible, then it must be.

"Yo Dincht, wake up!"

The image of Squall faded quickly as Zell was brought back to the conscious realm when his mattress lifted and dumped him on the floor. The little man took a moment to realize what was going on, and glanced upward into the face of Irvine Kinneas.

"W-what do you want, Irvine?" Zell asked, trying to put up a brave front.

"My money, you little bitch." Irvine removed his green sunglasses. "Either you cough up the cash now, or—"

"Or what?" Zell glared at the pimp.

Irvine laughed, then kicked the man square in the gut. Zell groaned painfully and slumped over. Irvine snapped his fingers, leading his cronies to begin rummaging through his apartment. Their ransacking didn't take very long, as Zell owned little furniture. One of the thugs found the measly rent money he had hidden in the sagging armchair in the other room, and brought it back to Irvine.

"So you HAVE been holding out on me," Irvine said, counting the Gil. "This is pathetic, but it will do. Boys, teach this whore to know when to pay up."

As Irvine's men surrounded him, Zell sank into despairing defeat and closed his eyes, waiting for the blows to begin.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: This chapter's a good one. You'll see why. ;-)

Chapter IX: The Ultimate Sacrifice

Zell's screams of agony and pain fell on deaf ears as Irvine's cronies kicked and punched him as he rolled helplessly on the dirty apartment floor. After what seemed like an eternity, the beating ceased, and through the racing of his own heart and struggled breaths, he heard footsteps approaching him as Irvine bent down.

Through blurry eyes, Zell saw the hunting knife come into view and came close to his face.

"You fuckin' cunt..I ought to give ya the same scar your little hubby used to have..seems like that mark really conducts electricity!" He scoffed, and his thugs bursted into hysterics. "Then we'd see who's really the most flaming fag on the street, eh?" He finished, which caused a fresh wave of laughter from the other men.

"P-please.." Zell spat out weakly. "I'll get you the rest of your money tonight, I promise.."

"Fuckin' right you will!" Irvine screamed, grabbing Zell's hair. "I'm comin' back over at midnight tonight, and if you don't have the other 500 I'll make a fine example out of you and send a clear message to the rest of my whores." He finished coldly, and spit on Zell's face.

And with that, Irvine and his thugs walked out the front door of the apartment.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful for Seifer. Rinoa left at noon to go have her bridal shower with her family. She had joked to Seifer that she hoped her baby shower would follow shortly thereafter.

Seifer hoped she was wrong.

Going into the engagement, Seifer had had his doubts about the relationship's potential, and this whole Zell situation had managed to make him even more doubtful about his commitment to Rinoa.

Thoughtlessly flipping through the channels on TV, Seifer caught a glimpse of the clock. It was 7PM already.

Realizing how long Rinoa had been gone, he made the conscious decision to stop waiting for her. Usually if Rinoa wasn't back in an hour or two, then whatever she was doing would end up taking her all day. She wasn't simply talkative and slow because she was a woman; she was talkative and slow because she was Rinoa.

With a yawn, Seifer stood up and grabbed his coat. He headed out the door with the plan to grabe a bite to eat at the nearby café, but he figured he might drop by and say hello to someone while he was out...

Zell took a long drag from his cigarette as he stared at the clock. The seconds slipped away, falling through his fingers. 500 gil in 5 hours...where would he ever get that much money?

"Nowhere..." He answered himself sullenly. Not that it mattered, anyway. So what if he got the money? Then he'd be back to square one, stuck in a pathetic excuse for a life selling his body for rent money. It was no life to live, so the realization that this was the last day of his young life shouldn't have been so sad to him.

But nevertheless, it was sad.

He felt like he had unfinished business. Or maybe he just didn't want to accept that it was his fate to fade out like this. He'd clung helplessly to the hope that yesterday's hero really wasn't today's garbage, but maybe that was the sad truth of it all. Maybe appreciation, thankfulness, and love are temporary emotions, especially the last one. Maybe the whole love thing was just a grown-up version of Santa Claus, just a myth we've been fed since childhood.

But he wasn't innocent in all this. Sure he was down on his luck, but Zell thought he'd turned away plenty of help from others already. Maybe his guilt and his shame was what caused him to bitterly turn Seifer away. The truth seemed so clear now; deep down, even though he'd tried so hard to deny it, Zell didn't believe in life after love. Because after Squall died, nothing truly good had come in his life.

Except Seifer...

Not that any of that mattered now though. It was all over, and soon things would finally be put to rest. Zell put his head in his hands and cried.

However, his tears were cut short when there was a knock on the door. Wiping his eyes and standing up, Zell warily approached the door. Was Irvine back already? It wouldn't surprise him...Irvine was usually pretty impatient.

Summoning his strength, Zell opened the door, expecting the worst.

He had to look up slightly to recognize the taller man. It was Seifer.

Seifer looked down at the smaller man in a stunned silence as he saw the black eye on Zell's face. He opened his mouth to speak, but the younger man quickly raised a finger to Seifer's lips and pulled him inside.

Shutting the door behind him, Zell walked Seifer further into the apartment, a look of despair on his face.

"Zell, what the hell happened to you?" Seifer finally said in shock, finding his voice.

Shaking his head and fighting back tears, Zell closed his eyes. "Nothing, it doesn't matter. Not anymore, anyway."

"What are you saying?" Seifer asked with sincere concern.

Zell had to turn away to hide his mounting emotion. "I...very soon, I'm not going to be around anymore." He said, his voice breaking off towards the end.

There was a hanging moment of silence between the two. It was Seifer who eventually broke it.

"So...does that mean you won't be coming to the wedding?" He asked bluntly, and immediately realized how inconsiderate and selfish he sounded.

Seifer saw Zell's shoulders sag weakly.

"Yeah...I guess it does..." Zell said in a very quiet voice.

Shaking his head, Seifer took a step towards him. "I'm sorry, that came out wrong, Zell...I...I don't want you to leave. I...don't want you to leave me." He said weakly, forcing himself to admit his feelings to both Zell and himself.

"Oh Seifer!" Zell cried, turning around and throwing his arms around the larger man. "I wish I could tell you what was going on!" He cried.

"Zell...you can tell me anything." Seifer said softly, stroking Zell's hair gently.

"That's just it though...I can't. I just can't." Zell sobbed, his small body trembling with emotion. "I can't get you involved, and..."

Seifer cut him off with a frantic, passionate kiss. Zell returned the kiss, throwing his arms around Seifer's neck and letting himself be absorbed in the sheer futility of it all.

Inside, Zell was screaming, desperately trying to make his body tell Seifer the things he was unable to do with words.

Not disconnecting from their forbidden liplock, Seifer and Zell quickly disrobed, their clothes falling onto the floor effortlessly.

Seifer groaned loudly behind the kiss as Zell slipped his tongue into his mouth in burning, loving passion.

The two fell to the floor, embraced in each other's arms. Seifer ran his hand over Zell's finely tuned torso, noting to himself how amazing it was that Zell kept himself in such great shape.

Zell whimpered softly into Seifer's ear and trembled with anticipation. He wanted this. He wanted this more than anything he could've thought of. He didn't care that he would soon be dead; he just cared about letting himself slip into the black hole of love, an all-encompassing plane of existence where nothing mattered, where it was safe and warm.

They locked lips again, and Seifer moaned deeply into this kiss. He wanted this to, he wanted to embrace this man, this man who had awoken in him the kind of emotions he'd never felt. Zell made him feel alive, it awoke him from the dull drudgery of life with Rinoa.

Seifer broke the kiss and smiled down at the smaller man. "I promise I will make this as comfortable as I can.." He said soothingly, and spit into his hand. He lowered the wet palm down down and coated his bulging tool. Grabbing Zell by his ankles, Seifer lifted him up slightly, allowing him to slip between the small man's legs and gain entry.

Zell made a faint gasp as Seifer entered him, and he looked up to his lover's grinning face. This was so much different than his average-night trick...that was just screwing, but this was making love. He gasped again, and slowly lowered his head and closed his eyes as Seifer began a slow rhythm in and out.

It was passion. Not your every-day movie passion, but a true, deep passion, that went to the very core of their souls. It was suddenly as if they were transformed into innocent young lovers, in a giddy mood as they ran through the garden of love, stopping to smell each fragrant flower.

Seifer's pace quickened, and Zell could feel that he was close to release. Zell bucked back in forth underneath Seifer as his body took control.

"Oh hyne..oh HYNE!" Zell screamed, digging his fingers into Seifer's arms. This spark of pain pushed Seifer over the edge, which caused a low groan to come out of his mouth as he released into his new lover.

With a heavy gasp, Seifer collapsed downward, barely having the energy to make sure he didn't land on poor Zell, who also was also reeling from the explosive orgasm.

The two men lay there, panting next to each other silently. After a moment of recovery, Seifer turned on his side, facing Zell.

"That was...the best I've had." He managed to choke out.

"Better than Rinoa?" Zell asked slyly. This caused Seifer to giggle.

"Forget Rinoa..." The bigger man said, gazing into Zell's eyes. "I bet you won't be leaving now though, huh?" He asked, sure of himself.

Zell's smile faded, and he sat up. "I'm sorry..." Zell said, and stood up. "But...I think this is the last time I'll ever see you." His voice cracked and his spirits once again fell. The spell had been broken.

"What!" Seifer snapped, deeply hurt by the sudden rejection. "Why can't we see each other again!"

There was a pause. "Because..." Zell started, thinking of an answer. "Because...you're going to marry Rinoa! If you left her, then I would be called a homewrecker! Can't you see my life is already awful enough!" He began to shout towards the end, tears streaming down his face. He knew these words would hurt Seifer, which was truly the last thing he wanted to do.

Seifer stood up, his eyes on the floor. "I don't believe this..." Seifer mumbled weakly. "I just bared my soul to you, I even expressed my love for you...and now you're just going to throw that all away!" He spat, his eyes also filling with tears.

"Just get out!" Zell screamed, the pain becoming nearly unbearable.

"Oh, I'll get out. You...you animal! That's all you are, Zell. An animal, you stopped being human a long time ago, because a human wouldn't toss someone's feelings aside like you! You're a beast. And who could ever learn to love a beast!" Seifer screamed, grabbing his clothes and marching out the front door.

Zell put his head in his hands. It hurt beyond words, but maybe this was best. Maybe, if Seifer hated him now, he could better cope when Zell gets killed. Best case scenario...maybe he wouldn't even care.

The thought made Zell feel nauseous.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter X:

Roxy Foxworth walked towards Zell's apartment building, blowing a huge bubble from the gum that his last john gave him. He was dressed in a flamboyant outfit, and even though he'd been on the street for a few years now, he still retained his good looks and innocence he'd always had. He was 2 years younger than Zell, with bright red hair and managed to dress better than he could afford to.

Roxy knocked on Zell's door, and after not getting an answer by the third knock, just walked inside.

Zell looked up at the door from his position on the couch. Roxy and Zell had been friends ever since Zell hit the streets. Indeed, Roxy was the only one Zell could really relate to there.

"What's the matter?" Roxy asked in concern once he saw Zell.

"Oh...nothing." Zell said falsely.

"Oh, come off it...just tell me!" Roxy demanded, putting his hands on his hips. "Best friends forever, remember?"

Zell forced a smile. "It's Irvine...he wants 500 by midnight or he's going to...to kill me." Zell said, becoming emotional once more.

With a look of concern, Roxy thought for a minute. "Well, tell you what, I'll give you the money I make tonight and then that should be enough, okay?"

Zell shook his head. "No...Irvine has eyes all over the neighbourhood, you know that...if he finds out that YOU were working overtime too, he'll know I had help. He thinks that if I can't make the money myself, I'm not a "worthy investment" anymore I guess..." he said sullenly.

"Hmm..." Roxy thought aloud. "Ah! I've got it!" He declared suddenly, and without saying anything else Roxy darted into Zell's bathroom. He emerged with a bottle of peroxide and a pair of scissors.

Zell raised his brow at the younger boy in confusion. Grinning, Roxy clipped the scissors together.

15 minutes later, Roxy and Zell were one in the same. Zell bleached and cut Roxy's hair to match his own, and by the time it was done it was near-impossible to tell the two apart.

"Now we'll be able to get you the rest of the money!" Roxy said confidently, examining Zell's work in the mirror.

"Heh, I hope so..." Zell said with a tinge of hope, the first he'd felt in several hours.

Roxy stepped back and stretched. "You should get out on the street right away, but do you mind if I take a nap in your bed for 20 minutes or so? I haven't slept in 2 days."

"Oh, go ahead. Remember that I have to have the money by midnight though..." Zell said.

"No problem! You'd be surprised how much the johns dig blonds..." Roxy chuckled, walking down the hall towards Zell's bedroom.

Zell walked towards the front door, stopping just short of it. "Hey, Roxy..." He said softly, but loud enough so that the younger man could hear.

"Yeah babe?" Roxy asked, turning around.

"Thank you...so much. You're gonna spare my life." He said warmly, smiling gently. "I guess not everyone in this dump is selfish."

Roxy smiled back. "Anything for my friend. Now, go get out there and get some money!"

Zell chuckled. "Okay, I'll see you later."

He walked out the door.

As the night went on, Zell started to feel as though a weight was being lifted from his shoulders. The money was flowing unusually well, and although he hadn't run into Roxy yet, he was sure he was out on the street as well making good money.

Maybe, just maybe, he would be spared, and he could explain everything to Seifer...maybe things would be alright..

The night grew chilly, and business slowed down after a few hours. Zell looked at the clock in the town square and it read 11:15. He'd made 300 gil and decided that he would return to his apartment, hoping Roxy would be there and that he'd made the 200 Zell needed to pay off Irvine.

Hope turned to anxiousness, and anxiousness turned to nervousness as Zell neared his apartment building. By the time he made it inside the building, he was filled with a choking fear.

"Please Roxy, please..." Zell pleaded silently as he turned his housekey in the doorlock. His heart dropped when he opened the door and it was pitch black. Roxy hadn't come back yet. Flipping the living room light on, Zell tried to instill some more hope in himself.

"He's got 45 minutes to make it back, that's plenty of time..." He reassured himself, although a nagging fear kept repeating in his mind. If he wasn't back yet, that also meant that he probably hadn't made much money.

Zell decided to take a shower to try and calm himself down. He walked past his dark bedroom, tossing his bag on the bed thoughtlessly as he approached the bathroom.

Once he'd made it inside, he realized he had left his comb in his bag, and turned back towards his bedroom. This time he flicked the bedroom light on and started towards the bed.

Then he noticed the sight that greeted him.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter XI:

Roxy, or what little was left of him, lay in the bed, most of his body still covered by the sheet. He was riddled with bullet holes, many of them through the sheet, which caused the wounds to bleed through liberally. He lay silently, his eyes still closed. He was killed in his sleep.

Zell tried to back away, but the world decided to spin uncontrollably and all he could do was make sure he fell straight down, and not forward onto the bed.

He hyperventilated uncontrollably, never taking his eyes off the dead body on the bed. Flashes of thoughts went through his head as he tried to make sense of it all. "They must have used a machine gun, with all those bullet holes..." His mind said, before jumping wildly to another topic. "Why did they kill Roxy? Did they know he planned to help me?"

Zell's eyes came back into focus, and the first thing his saw was Roxy's blond hair. The answer came right away. "They killed him becuase they thought he was me...he was in my bed when they broke in, and they probably opened the bedroom door, saw a sleeping figure, and just pulled the trigger..."

Irvine hadn't planned on letting Zell off the hook after all.

It was too much, it was too horrible. Zell leaned over and vomited quietly. He was too stunned to even scream. His head was swimming.

Zell laid back and stared at the floor. In the commotion, his backpack had fallen to the floor, and the contents of it spilled. His eyes focused on the pile of gil lying in front of him. The wheels in his mind began turning.

He was invisible now. Everyone would know Zell Dincht is dead. No one would notice Roxy was gone; he was a whore, the only people who would know he was missing would be his johns, and there was little chance that married men, whom were the gist of them, would come forward and admit they bought sex just for the sake of a missing whore. Zell had been successfully wiped off the grid.

And all his debts had been wiped off with his life.

A train ticket to Timber was 250 gil.

A wave of guilt tried to overcome Zell, but his mind pushed it aside. Was it immoral and disrespectful to allow Roxy to be buried under his name? He couldn't say it was. Sure, people stop caring about heroes after a while, but there is no greater a comeback than death. No matter how long you've been thrown aside, if you were once important, you'd be given a hero's funeral and you'd be beloved once more. Roxy would get the kind of funeral he truly deserved; not the dismissive one of a whore.

Zell slowly sat up. He looked at Roxy's body with tears in his eyes. Roxy was always more than the other miserable beings in this environment...he was a light in the darkness, shining fiercely in defiance at the world that kept trying to drag him down. Had Zell been killed, he would've gladly allowed people to think it was Roxy who was dead so that Roxy could escape to a better life. And modesty tried to make Zell to think otherwise, but Zell knew that Roxy would feel the same about Zell. He would want at least some good to come of his wasted and unnecessary death.

Zell struggled to his feet, and grabbed the money. He made his way to the bathroom and stood over the sink. He washed his face clean, clean of the dirt and the grime, clean of the life he'd been forced to stoop to. He knew now that the world wasn't perfect, but the exact opposite. The worst of the worst run the world, while only the innocent are forced to suffer. Zell vowed then and there not to take Roxy's sacrifice for granted; he was going to make something of his life.

But did he have the strength to escape this squalor, could he truly leave it all behind and live a happy life in a clean place, far away from this degredation? He'd done nothing but run away his whole life; did he have the strength to do it one last time?

Zell looked at his reflection in the mirror. He leaned his head against it and sighed. He did have the strength.

"Sometimes you have to make your own happy ending..." He said softly, and with that he left the apartment with nothing but the clothes on his back and the money in his pocket.

Zell purposely hid his face from the few faces he saw on the street, determined to hide himself. He'd bought his train ticket, which would leave in an hour and a half. And, despite not wanting to, he knew he had to go to Seifer's house and tell him what was going on. Even though he knew he would truly have to leave now, he wanted to Seifer to know he was alive.

No one answered for some time when Zell buzzed, but it was Rinoa who finally opened the door to her apartment.

"Yes?" She asked brashly.

"Rinoa..." Zell said softly. "I...is Seifer home?"

Rinoa put her hands on her hip and sighed in irritation. "No, he's out drinking. He was upset about something."

"Oh, I see..." Zell said with guilt as he looked down. "Do you know which bar he's at?"

Rinoa scoffed in annoyance. "It's not my job to babysit him! You'll have to come back later!" She spat, and then paused. "On second thought, don't bother doing that either." She began to shut the door.

"Wait!" Zell cried, stepping forward to prevent Rinoa from shutting the door. "Please, just give him a message for me. A friend of mine was just killed and everyone is going to think that it was me who got killed. Just, please tell him that I'm alive, but I'm going away...forever." He said, emotion overcoming him as he began to feel desperate. "Please, I'm never going to speak to him again, I promise I'll leave you two alone forever...just please tell him that, and that I'm sorry."

Rinoa paused for a moment as she looked into Zell's eyes. "I...I'll tell him." She said softly.

"Thank you..." Zell said in relief. He turned around and walked out. He had a train to catch in an hour.

Seifer came home 20 minutes later, a little drunk but still confused and depressed. Rinoa was waiting for him with open arms. She hugged him tightly, but he didn't return the affection.

"Hi honey, would you like something to eat?" She asked sweetly.

"No..." Seifer said dully, making his way over to the couch where he plopped down.

He stared at his fiancé for a long while as he tried to think of a way to best ask the question he wanted to.

"Honey...did...Zell come over by any chance?" He asked, deciding not to dance around the issue. He braced for impact.

But surprisingly, she sounded very calm. "No dear, not since I've been home...were you expecting him or something?"

She cooed lovingly.

"No..." He said turning away. It wasn't like Rinoa to act so casual about Zell..

Well, I'm going to bed..." Rinoa said with a false yawn. Seifer nodded in acknowledgment. As she began to make her way to the bedroom, she heard Seifer flick the TV on behind her.

"This just in, a horrible murder has taken place..." The news anchor started, but was cut off by Rinoa shutting the bedroom door behind her. She couldn't help but smile a little. She couldn't tell him about Zell...if she'd done that, he'd go and try to find him, and run off with him.

The very thought infuriated Rinoa. The little whore...what right did he have to break up what she had spent so long building up?

Meanwhile, she heard the muffled sound of the TV set. That murder was on the news...now Seifer would think Zell was dead, and she would have him all to herself.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter XII: Unspeakable Bonds

"This just in, a horrible murder has taken place..."

Seifer sat up and stared anxiously at the television screen.

"Local resident and war hero, Irvine Kinneas, was found dead in his apartment late this evening," the anchor continued. "He was shot once in the back of the head. Authorities are investigating the incident, but evidence suggests that his death may be connected to a local prostitution ring…"

Seifer leapt to his feet, a feeling of euphoria enveloping him. Zell would never have to suffer Irvine's wrath again. He was free from his chains… Maybe there was still hope for them after all.

Seifer rushed to the closet. He grabbed his coat and fumbled with the buttons. It seemed he couldn't get it on fast enough. Finally, he gave up and raced out the door.

Zell stared solemnly as he looked at the train in front of him. He was free. Never again would he have to sell himself like meat to strangers. Never again would he fear for his safety against Irvine and his cronies. Never again would he feel the warm embrace of Seifer's arms…

Freedom always came with a price. It was a simple fact. Zell always knew it, but nevertheless, it was a heartbreaking realization. He could escape the bonds of prostitution, but Seifer would always hold a piece of his heart, as did Squall. Zell heaved a sad sigh, thinking of the two men that he would always love that he would never be with again.

All he had left was fifty gil, the clothes on his back, the train ticket, and his memories. He could get a job, a new identity, a home, but he could never replace his memories. The happy days, the sad days, and these last few days with Seifer. It was strange to say, but Zell had been happier in these previous days with Seifer than he had been in a long time. He was someone who cared, who held him, who made love to him. If fate would have been kind, things would have been different.

"So much for my happy ending," Zell said quietly as he approached the train.

Seifer ran all the way to Zell's apartment, never stopping to catch his breath. By the time he arrived at the rundown building, he was surprised to find police cars swarming the residence. A stretcher was being carried out the front door, a lumpy shape under a white sheet stained with red. A sick feeling building in his gut, Seifer approached an officer and inquired as to what was going on.

"Man found shot in his apartment," the cop said nonchalantly. "Young guy, early twenties."

"Do you know who he is?" Nausea was beginning to overwhelm Seifer's senses.

"We have to notify his family first."

"Please," Seifer begged. "Tell me, is it Zell Dincht?"

"I'm sorry, sir," the officer said sympathetically. "I am not at liberty to discuss that at the moment."

"For the love of Hyne, I am the only family Zell has. Please, tell me, is it him."

The officer looked at Seifer. He could see the desperation in the man's eyes. Finally, he said quietly:

"Yes, it's him."

If a human being could shatter like glass, Seifer would have done so at that very moment. The horror of those words weighed down on him. He was being crushed and no one was there to rescue him.

"Oh Hyne, no, oh Hyne…"

Seifer ran from the scene into an alley and vomited violently. All he could do was curl himself into a ball and sob uncontrollably.

Zell was gone. It was only hours ago that they had been together. If only Zell had told him what was going on, he could have saved him. It didn't have to end this way.

He needed to talk to someone. In his hysterical state, there was only one person he could think of...

Fujin looked up from her book when she heard a sharp knock at her door. She closed the book with a soft thud and rose from her chair. She strode over the door, and opened it. To her surprise, a disheveled and very distraught Seifer greeted her.

"SEIFER?"


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter XIII: Victory and Defeat

Fujin did not know what to make of the situation in front of her. She could not recall a past time when she had seen Seifer so sad, so hurt, so … broken. It was unsettling. Breaking out of her normal fashion, she spoke to him in normal voice, which she only used in the most serious of events.

"Come in, hurry," she said.

Seifer came through the front door and Fujin closed it behind them.

"Seifer, I've never seen you like this. What's wrong?"

"Promise me you won't go to Rinoa with this."

Fujin was a bridesmaid in Seifer and Rinoa's wedding party. She had spent much time with Rinoa during the planning stages of the wedding, but in all honesty, she could not stand Rinoa and thought her to be an over controlling, temperamental bitch.

"My lips are sealed."

"Okay, then…" Seifer drew in a deep breath. "I … am in love with someone else."

"Call off the wedding then," Fujin said. "What can Rinoa do about it?"

"It's more complicated than that."

"Then you need to tell me more than a few vague details."

Seifer chewed on his lip for a moment before continuing. "You see, I ran into an old acquaintance when Raijin took me out for my 'bachelor party.' They were down on their luck and I was worried, so I kept checking up on them. Well, eventually one thing led to another and then…"

"You had sex," Fujin finished.

"Yeah." Seifer never felt so nervous in his life. "Well, their luck ran out now… They're dead."

With that, Seifer burst into tears once more.

"Seifer," Fujin said quietly, embracing her dear friend. "I'm so sorry… You said an old acquaintance. Was she someone from Garden?"

"Yeah, he was."

Fujin paused for a moment. "He?"

"It was Zell."

"Oh."

Fujin continued to hold Seifer as he cried into her shoulder. It was surprising to hear the former knight profess his love of another man, certainly, but it was all she could do to lend her support in this time of need.

"What are you going to do?" she asked him quietly.

"I don't know," Seifer admitted. "There's nothing left for me, except Rinoa…"

"But you don't love her—"

"I know," Seifer said. "But … I really don't know what other options I have at this point other than to marry her. Zell is dead. I'm an outcast of society. If Zell was still alive, I could handle being rejected by the world, because I wouldn't have to be alone, but … I think I just realized that I needed him as much as he needed me…"

"Zell was lost, and so were you," Fujin spoke slowly, trying to make sense of Seifer psychological ramblings. "You were able to bond because of that, but now the only person who gives your life even some sense of direction, however pathetic it may be…"

"…Is Rinoa." Seifer felt his heart sink even lower than he thought it could possible sink. "The wedding is tomorrow."

"Do you really want to go through with it?" Fujin asked her friend. "Honestly, you could just walk away from her, and Raijin and I will support you one hundred percent. You won't be happy in a life with Rinoa, even if she is the only reason the world gives you any considerable thought."

"There's no point in not walking away," Seifer said, half convincing himself of the validity of the bull shit he was spouting. "I have nothing left. I might as well make her happy. You know, she lost one man to Zell. It would probably kill her if she had lost a second to him."

"Seifer…"

"You know, it will be all right." Seifer sounded defeated. "I should go. It's getting late, and I'm getting married tomorrow. Take care, Fujin."

"Yeah," Fujin nodded sadly. "Take care."

Less than half an hour later, Seifer had returned the apartment. He took off his jacket and haphazardly threw it on the floor in the closet. He then took a seat on the couch and sat for awhile in the darkness. He felt numb, like the life had been drained from him. His world was shattered. He was torn apart like someone took a knife and drove it deep in his heart. If he could turn back time, if he could find a way…

"Seifer?" He heard a tired voice behind him.

"Hi, Rin."

"Seifer, what are you doing up at this hour?" she asked with false concern. "Did you go out?"

"Yeah, I did," he confessed, the numbness keeping him from worrying about her reaction. "…Zell's dead."

"Oh my gosh." Rinoa rushed over and sat down next to him. "Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry. How are you feeling?"

"I'll be all right," he lied.

"Do you want to postpone the wedding?"

"…No, no, it's all right. The wedding should still go on."

"Well, if you sure," Rinoa said. "Come on, Seifer. You've had a long day. Come to bed."

"…Okay," he reluctantly agreed.

Rinoa reached over and pulled her fiancé into a tight embrace. He wasn't able to see her victorious expression.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter XIV: Things Fall Apart

The following morning, Balamb Chapel blazed with excitement. Rinoa's father had gone all out on decorating the church to look amazing. It appeared that he had spared no expense in giving his little girl the dream wedding she had always wanted. Flowers and candles were everywhere. Rinoa adored the set up, but to Seifer, it looked like a fire hazard.

As soon as they had arrived at the chapel, Rinoa was whisked off to start dressing and primping herself along with her bridesmaids. Seifer was scolded for seeing the bride before the wedding, as though it was solely his fault that the custom had been violated. Then he too was carted off to be stuffed into an uncomfortable tuxedo and wait for the ceremony to begin.

An unpleasant feeling was forming in the bottom of Seifer's stomach. He felt nervous, nauseous, like he wanted to throw up. Every time he mentioned to Raijin, his best man, that he did not feel well, Raijin merely brushed it off as wedding jitters. Seifer, however, knew otherwise.

He didn't want to be here. He wanted to run out of the chapel and as far away from this God forsaken city as possible. Zell gave his life some meaning, and with him dead, there was nothing left for Seifer to lose or gain. He just wanted to crawl away to die alone and forgotten.

_No one mourns the wicked_, _after all,_ he thought bitterly. _Goodness knows the wicked's lives are lonely. Goodness knows the wicked die alone…_

"Well, Rinoa, today's the big day," the bride's maid of honor, Quistis, said cheerfully. "Are you nervous at all?"

"Not terribly, no."

"Oh my gosh, I can't believe you're getting married!" squealed another girl, Xu. "It's so exciting."

Rinoa smiled with false sincerity at her bridesmaids. "Isn't it wonderful? Who could imagine that I would find happiness with Seifer in the end?"

Fujin turned away from the girls and scowled. Why the hell was Seifer going through with this ceremony? Even if he didn't love someone else, she was still such an obnoxious person to be around, and she had terrible taste. As though for emphasis on this thought, she looked down at the puffy pink satin dress that she had been forced to wear, and frowned. The least he could have done was cancelled the wedding in order to save her the embarrassment of this ridiculous dress.

"I suppose Seifer is a good choice for you," Quistis said. "The rest of the world hates him, so there's no worry about … um, 'heartbreak'"…

"You mean him cheating on me?" Rinoa smiled again, her lips thinning. "Well, to tell the truth, I was a little worried recently about some of his recent activities."

"You mean he _was _cheating on you!" Xu looked horrified.

Fujin raised an eyebrow. Did Rinoa know about Seifer and Zell?

"No, not really," Rinoa said. "I was just a little worried about his faithfulness to me, but everything is all right now. I took care of things and there's nothing to worry about anymore."

…_Took care of things?_ Fujin thought. _I don't exactly like the sound of that._

There was a brief knock at the door and Rinoa's father appeared at the door. "Ladies, the ceremony is starting shortly."

"Okay, Daddy," Rinoa replied. "Girls, head on out. The next time we talk, I'll be a married woman."

Quistis and Xu left with Rinoa's father immediately, but Fujin remained in the room. She had a suspicious feeling, and she was going to get to the bottom of it. She crossed the room over to Rinoa.

"What do you want?" Rinoa certainly didn't feign friendliness to Fujin when others were around. Fujin knew Rinoa hated her and only put her in the wedding party because Seifer asked her to.

"YOU. ME. TALK. NOW." Fujin would never break out of her typical broken sentences for someone as repulsive to her as Rinoa.

"Well, we have a wedding ceremony," Rinoa retorted, "and I certainly don't want to talk to you."

"SEIFER."

"What about him?" Rinoa didn't look very pretty when she scowled.

"SEIFER. ZELL. YOU KNOW."

Rinoa's eyes widened, and Fujin took that as a confirmation of her suspicions.

"ZELL, DEAD. YOU. RESPONSIBLE---"

"That's a lie!" Rinoa yelled. "That little fag deserved to die, but I never did anything to him!"

"YOU KILLED HIM." Fujin accused her again.

"I never killed him," Rinoa said against, gritting her teeth together. "Don't you dare accuse me of that."

"SEIFER. MUST KNOW."

Fujin slowly backed toward the door. Rinoa screeched and tackled the silver-haired girl to the floor. Fujin was quite surprised by the strength of the shorter girl and found herself overpowered. Rinoa grabbed her by the hair and shoved her into a closet, locking the door so that Fujin was trapped. Fujin banged on the door.

"OUT!" She yelled.

"No fucking way, you bitch," Rinoa hissed. "You are not going to ruin my wedding. I'll tell everyone you got sick and had to leave."

"MURDERER! LIAR!"

"Zell isn't even dead!"

"WHAT!" Fujin stopped pounding on the door.

"You heard me!" Rinoa cried. "He showed up at my apartment after the murder and told me thatthese bums after him thoughthe was dead, so he was leaving town. He wanted me to tell Seifer, but I am not going to have my fiancé chasing after that drag queen wannabe, so I just left him to believe that Zell is dead."

"BITCH."

"Call me what you want, Fujin," Rinoa answered viciously, "but I am afraid that I will have to take care of you after the ceremony. I can't have you ruining my marriage after it's only just begun. I did know some of Irvine's friends. They'll be able to help me. Sorry Fujin, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Bye now."

Rinoa left the dressing room as Fujin continued shrieking and pounding against the door…


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter XV: Face to face, heart to heart

Seifer stood nervously at the altar, as he and the rest of the church in the pews watched the doors of the church, awaiting the bride's arrival.

A strong, old organ began to play, shaking the congregation with it's matrimony song.

"What a ridiculous, little sweet charade Rinoa set up.." He thought to himself in disgust. The entire wedding perfectly reflected Rinoa's personality; melodramatic and overblown, but at the center of it all, there was nothing meaningful or relevant. But still, he felt grateful, or maybe just indebted, to her. And she had been so supportive and loving with him when he heard about Zell..

After what seemed like an eternity, the doors of the chapel slowly opened, and Rinoa emerged. In a huge, flowing white gown, she began a slow gait down the isle, looking back and forth at those in the pews with a wide grin. There were audible whispers from the audience, most of them saying how gorgeous she was. Seifer even heard someone call her "as gorgeous as a swan", while he couldn't help but think that this little act of hers made her look as dumb as a duck.

Before long, she'd made her way to the altar and took her place next to Seifer. She smiled warmly at him, and he couldn't help but feel moved. "Maybe this was the right thing to do.." he thought..

"Dearly beloved, we gathered here today.."

"Argh!" Fuijin screamed, finally giving up on pounding the closet door. She was trapped, and her best friend was going to get married to this shallow bitch who truly didn't care about him one way or another.

After catching her breath, Fuijin stood in the darkness, and her mind started to wonder. Just what was it that made Rinoa such an opportunistic, self-righteous bitch?

Maybe it was because Rinoa had already lost a man to another man, and now the same man she lost the first one to now threatened to take her new one. Maybe it was because she couldn't deal with competition. Maybe she just couldn't stand the thought of being unattractive..

"Or maybe she's just a two-timing WHORE!" Fuijin shrieked, her anger overcoming her once more.

"Excuse me!" A voice from outside called.

While Fuijin was lost in her thoughts, she hadn't noticed the sound of footsteps outside.

"Uh...HELP! INSIDE! CLOSET!" She called frantically. She heard the dressing room door open, and shortly thereafter, the closet door itself was pulled open.

"WHO--" Fuijin began, staring at her rescuer while her eyes came back into focus, after having been in the darkness for so long.

Seifer slipped the wring on Rinoa's finger nervously, his hands shaking badly.

Rinoa winked at Seifer as the minister continued. The ringbearer handed Rinoa a ring to put on Seifer's hand.

"Now, if there are any who object to this union-"

Suddenly the doors of the chapel blew open loudly, as thought someone had kicked them. The crowd gasped and quickly turned around to see who was interrupting the union.

Out of the shadows, a figure emerged into the grand hall.

"I object!" He screamed, running forward. As he dashed forward, Seifer was able to indentify the person.

It was Zell, though looking unlike Seifer had ever seen him. He was wearing a beautiful gray suit, but it was his face that had changed the most. The vibrant features that had been dampened and erased with years of a tired and hard life had reverted to their original beauty; his face shone with confidence and with the relief of his burdens gone. His spirit had been washed clean from all the dirt and sadness, and all that remained now was happiness and determination.

Fuijin ran in, following behind Zell.

Seifer went numb, his entire body freezing. "W-wh.." was all he could muster.

Rinoa's eyes went wide, and then bloodshot. Her once-shiny and immaculate hair became frazzled and wild as her rage mounted. She threw her arm forward, grabbing Seifer's arm with surprising force and then shoved the ring on his finger.

"YOU'RE TOO LATE!" She shrieked like a wild animal, holding his hand up with hers, showing the rings as though they connected them in an impenetrable bond. "YOU'RE TOO LAAATE!" She repeated, followed by feral, victorious cackling.

Unable to turn his head or gaze from the sight in front of him, Seifer, without even thinking, pressed his hand against Rinoa's face and shoved, sending her flying to the ground with a yelp.

"Zell.." He whispered, tears coming to his eyes.

"Seifer!" Zell called gleefully, taking a few steps forward as his eyes brimmed with tears as well.

"How--" Seifer started, before finding himself to choked up to speak.

Smiling, Zell dashed forward to the altar.

Still stunned, all Seifer could do was open his arms and accept the smaller man running into them. He threw his arms around Zell, and they cried for a moment, until Zell looked up and their eyes met.

"I don't understand.." Seifer whispered.

"It wasn't me who died..they meant to kill me, but they mistaked my friend for me.." Zell explained quietly, as the tears rolled down his cheek. "I came to your house last night to tell you, but you weren't there..I asked Rinoa to let you know I was going to run away from it all..but..I knew I couldn't leave you after all. You're all I have!" Zell finished, sobbing.

"But, Rinoa told me you were--" Seifer managed, trying to make sense of all this.

"Apparently she lied and let you think I was dead.." Zell scowled, pointing behind him to Fuijin. "She told me everything. Apparently Rinoa spilled the beans to her and then locked her in the closet."

"Oh Zell.." Seifer whispered, grabbing Zell by the hips and pulling him up to plant a kiss on his lips.

During this sudden commotion, Rinoa had gone by completely unnoticed, and while Seifer and Zell were talking, she'd slipped over to the buffet table and grabbed the knife that was sitting next to the wedding cake. As she walked towards the altar once more, she had a wild, furious glint in her eyes.

Her fist clenched down tightly on the handle of the blade as she neared Zell's back.

"I'll teach you to mess with me you little tramp!" She shrieked in rage, readying the knife and stabbing downward.

Seifer saw Rinoa out of the corner of his eye, and moved on instinct. He grabbed Zell by the shoulders and twisted his body, causing the two to switch positions. He didn't have time to move further though, and the knife landed deep in his back. Those in the pews, previously stunned into silence, now screamed and gasped loudly.

"So much for true love!" Rinoa cackled as she pulled the knife out and stabbed once more. She was broken out of her trance however, by seeing Zell's shocked eyes staring back at her. If Zell was facing her, then that meant the one she stabbed was..

"Seifer!" Rinoa screamed, dazed.

Before she could react further though, Fuijin tackled hard into Rinoa, sending the two flailing across the room.

Seifer began to slump back, nearly falling down the altar steps. Stunned, Zell reached forward and pulled him back, helping him down into a laying position.

"Seifer!" Zell gasped, fresh tears entering his eyes, although now for a very different reason.

Seifer coughed, blood in his mouth. He appeared to be in shock for a moment, his eyes wandering the chapel ceiling high above. After a moment he came to however, and saw the beautiful blue eyes of Zell staring down at him.

"Zell..I still..can't believe you came back," He whispered with a slight laugh. Reaching up weakly, he ran his fingers through Zell's soft, silky hair.

"Of course I came back.." Zell cried, closing his eyes at the warmth of his lover's touch. "I couldn't let her..oh, if only I'd gotten here sooner.." He sobbed.

"Sh..maybe..it's better this way.." Seifer offered, wincing in pain. "At least now, you can move on and have a full life.."

Zell gasped, and shook his head. His tears fell, landing on Seifer's tuxedo. "Don't talk like that! You'll be all right..we're together now, everything's going to be fine..you'll see.." His voice trailed off and eventually broke with emotion.

Seifer's hand slid down Zell's soft cheek, and fell to his side.

"At least I got to see you again.." Seifer whispered, a finality in his voice that made Zell feel as though he was going to crack and shatter into a million pieces.

"No, don't leave! Don't leave me!" Zell sobbed, leaning forward until his head rested on Seifer's chest. "I love you so much, Seifer.."

As his head rest on the older man's chest, Zell finally began to tune in the hysteria that was around him.

A shout rang out from the crowd. "Someone call a doctor!"

"What's going on!"

"Rinoa? Rinoa? What did you do!"

"Oh, my daughter's wedding is.."

"I said call an ambulance!"


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter XVI

The Bridge Between Two Hearts

Seifer's eyes fluttered open, coming into focus. The shocking florescent light of the Balamb Garden infirmary pierced his eyes and caused him the clench them shut again.

He felt a soft touch caress his arm lovingly, and he immediately recognized it as Zell's. Suddenly it came back to him. He'd been in this infirmary for a day now, and had just woken up from a brief nap.

"You're still here..." Seifer groaned, opening his eyes and offering a weak smile to Zell.

"I should say the same for you..." Zell said softly, stroking the wounded man's hair.

Chuckling softly, Seifer shrugged. "Doubt I'll be going anywhere anytime soon though."

After a moment of lingering silence, Zell let a loud sigh as he kissed Seifer's hand. "I'm sorry I messed up your wedding," he said, but his voice broke. He was obviously upset about the news Seifer had received just before he went back to sleep.

"Shh, it's okay..." Seifer said soothingly, stroking Zell's hair as the young man began to cry. "Don't worry, that's all water under the bridge now. After all, if I hadn't been stabbed, they wouldn't have had to operate on me…and if they hadn't operated, who knows when I would've discovered the cancer. At least they caught it in an early stage."

Zell wiped his eyes, trying to be strong. "I know, it's just…now that I finally have you, I can't imagine the thought of losing you..."

Seifer pulled Zell down to meet his lips. They kissed briefly, and then stared into each other's eyes. "I'll be fine," Seifer said. "The show must go on."

"You're right..." Zell whispered, a smile creeping across his lips.

"And speaking of shows, you'll have to take me back to that titty bar and give me a private session sometime!" Seifer joked, a wide grin on his pale face.

Zell scoffed, and made a play slap across Seifer's face. "You better not mention that. After all, they did finally let us back in the Garden, didn't they?"

"Well, it's the only local hospital. If there hadn't been as much of a commotion, I bet they would've just left me to die..." Seifer spat, his eyes wandering the familiar surroundings.

Zell didn't respond for a moment. "I think people are beginning to forgive and forget..." He said simply, his gaze wandering to the nearby window. "I have the feeling that we've put a dark chapter behind us."

They held hands in the silence for a few minutes, simply content to be together. Zell shifted in his chair nervously, suddenly aware of the question that Seifer was about to ask.

"What happened to Rinoa..?" Seifer finally asked in a subdued tone.

"She…she fled the church in the ruckus. The police are searching for her, but she's still on the loose..." Zell explained his face solemn.

Seifer looked down, deep in thought. His eyes wandered to his hand, and he held it up in front of himself. It still had the wedding band on it that Rinoa had forcibly placed there. Zell noticed this and looked worried.

"Aren't you going to take that off?" He asked with a tinge of jealousy in his voice.

Seifer didn't take his eyes off the ring. "I think...I'll take it off when I find someone I want to share it with." He said simply.

"Oh dear, it seems the morphine hasn't worn off entirely." Zell joked, unable to hide the hint of disappointment in his voice.

Seifer didn't seem to notice Zell's discomfort, however. "Hey, why don't you head back to Balamb and get a hotel room there? Once I'm able to, maybe we can hitch a train to Dollet. I heard they've almost finished construction on the over-water bridge between Balamb and Timber. Maybe it'll be finished when I get out of here and we can ride over it together..." Seifer offered cheerily.

"Heh, sounds like a plan. Are you sure you're okay with me leaving you?" Zell asked.

Seifer rolled his eyes and quickly nodded. "Sure, I'll be fine. I've already got nurses fussing over me, I don't need another one."

Zell smiled. "I love you, Seifer."

"I love you too, Zell."

Upon reaching the entrance to the quad, Zell found the gruff and bored looking attendant sitting at the front desk. The man was reading a newspaper intently, and hadn't even realized someone had walked in.

"Hello..." Zell said quietly, catching the man's attention. He squinted at Zell through thick glasses, obviously annoyed at the disruption.

"Can I help you?" The man asked in a condescending tone.

"Uh, yes, I was told I could take one of the rental cars here? I'm headed for Balamb." He explained.

Without saying a word, the man walked over to a rack by the wall that held the many car keys. He bent down to retrieve one and the glasses slid off his face, falling to the floor with a crack.

"Oh, shit!" The man cried in anger, snatching the pair of glasses. He grabbed the set of keys and walked back over to Zell.

Slamming the keys on the desk, the man examined the glasses. "Oh great, the bridge is broken." The man sighed, sadly looking at the long split down the middle where the glasses sit on the bridge of someone's nose.

"Sorry," Zell uttered, taking the keys and heading towards the garage.

When Zell stepped out into the parking lot of Balamb Garden, he was immediately greeted by the surprising silence of the place. After spending so much time around the non-stop beeping and mechanical sounds of a hospital room, this newfound silence was both calm and slightly unsettling.

Zell stared down at the keys in his hand, and the I.D. number written on them; 072386.

He walked through a row of cars, paying close attention to their ID plates as he worked up the numerical order to find his.

However, just as he had reached the car with 031686 on its plate, he stopped. A deafening roar sounded from the end of the end of the line of cars. It was the sound of an engine roaring to life. Zell quickly turned around to the source of the sound, and saw a car covered in banners and shaving cream pull out ahead of him.

It was a black car done up in a "Just Married" theme. The headlights flickered on, and Zell had to raise a hand to shield his eyes from the glare. There was a hanging silence.

"Hello..?" Zell called out in a shaky voice.

"Hello, you man-stealing fuck." The voice called back.

The words hit him like a slap across the face. "It's you..!" He gasped, stumbling backwards. The headlights shut off.

"Yes." Rinoa responded. Through the windshield, Zell could make out her terrifying visage. Still clothed in her tattered and dirtied wedding dress, Rinoa's face was one of total insanity. Her eyes were bloodshot, her hair a frazzled mess, and her face shone with sweat.

"You took Squall away from me and now Seifer..." she hissed."It seems the only way to end your home wrecking ways is to end YOU!" Rinoa spat wildly, revving the engine.

"Rinoa, stop! Just listen to me!" Zell pleaded, unable to hide the terror in his voice. "To you, it seems like I've stolen everything from you! That isn't true...in reality, I've always envied you!"

Rinoa stopped revving the engine.

"What..?" She asked dumbfounded. "You…envy…me?"

Zell nodded nervously. "Yes…you always got what you wanted. Everyone envies you, Rinoa, because happiness falls into your lap."

Rinoa was silent for a moment, processing Zell's words. "I...I don't know..." She whimpered her words so quiet they were nearly inaudible to Zell.

"Please Rinoa, just stop the car and get out...we can talk about this. We can be friends. You don't have to do something reckless."

Again, silence. Eventually, Rinoa spoke up.

"I don't think I can…I'm so miserable..." Rinoa whined, raising a hand and wiping her sweaty brow.

Zell nodded, cautiously beginning to walk towards the car. He spoke in a soothing tone.

"I know things seem fucked up right now, but I promise you, there's a way through the darkness...you just need to find someone who can be your light..."

Suddenly, Rinoa's head snapped back up in a vicious glare. "Find someone, huh! Yeah, I'm sure you're an expert on finding men for yourself, and they always seem to be MY MEN!" She shrieked, putting the car in gear.

"Rinoa, wait--!" Zell yelped.

"Any last words!" The crazed woman hollered wildly.

Zell scowled. "Yeah…you're a real bitch!" He shouted defiantly.

"Yeaargh!" Rinoa bellowed, slamming on the gas. The car barreled towards Zell.

Unable to even react, all Zell could do was jump and land on the front hood of the car. He groaned in pain as his chest slammed against the metal, and he quickly reached his arms out and held on for dear life.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter XVII: She's A Maniac

Seifer sighed loudly and his eyes fluttered open. He was alone. He figured Zell must be at the hotel by now, hopefully getting some much needed rest. Hopefully soon he would be well enough to join the smaller man and they would never have to part ever again.

These last few days… Had it only been just a few days? It felt like a lifetime ago that Seifer ran into a broken and disheveled Zell selling himself to the scum of the earth for only a crust of bread and a leaky roof. So much had changed since that moment. The anger, confusion, and the sheer joy that made up his time with Zell had brought so many new questions. Before that chance reunion, Seifer had only known himself as a cocky, arrogant, and relatively straight man.

_Well, that's changed_, he thought with a smile. His famous self-possession vanished from his repertoire the moment Zell returned into his life.

Now, for the first time in his life, Seifer felt like he was where he belonged. No more need to chase empty romantic dreams. No more need to give himself away to powerful women in the hope of feeling whole. No, they never gave him that fulfillment that he had craved for so long. In the end, he was a prostitute as Zell was, although while Zell was struggling to survive, Seifer was chasing impossible goals.

Never again, he told himself. He knew where he needed to be. He needed to be there for Zell, to protect him, to hold him, and to love him no matter how cruel the world's hatred bared its wrath upon him. He needed to be Zell's light in the darkness, as Zell had become for him. He needed to wake up in the morning and see Zell's face sleeping peacefully next to his own.

With a gentle tug, Seifer pulled Rinoa's ring from his finger and placed it on the table next to him.

He knew in his heart that he would get better. His wounds would heal, and the cancer would be cured. God wouldn't be so cruel as to take him away before he and Zell finally got their shot at happiness. Would he?

Zell groaned. He knew at least several ribs were broken upon the impact of the car. Who knew if there were internal injuries as well. He looked up through the windshield at Rinoa, who was laughing hysterically, eyes blazing like a wildfire out of control.

"Never again can you take anyone away from me!" she screamed madly.

"Rinoa, please!" Zell begged. "Don't do this. You don't want my death on your conscious, do you?"

"Fuck you, Zell," the girl spat. "Fuck you and your pretentious concern for my conscious. You seem to have no problem sleeping at night after stealing my men. Although you probably don't sleep a whole lot, if you catch my meaning."

"Rinoa, please, stop…"

"Let me just ask you this," the demented bride screeched. "When did Seifer first fuck you? Was it before he brought you to our apartment or after?"

"Rinoa, don't do this—"

"Answer the goddamn question!"

"Rinoa, it doesn't matter," Zell said. "You're going to kill me no matter what I answer."

"You're right," she screamed. "The only way you'll return to Seifer is in a managed lifeless heap, you fucking whore!"

Staring at that face so full of murderous rage and hatred, Zell wondered how anyone could have ever thought that Rinoa was almost angelic. She was evil, pure evil. She wasn't going to listen to reason. She was determined to separate him from Seifer forever.

_Zell…_

Zell wondered momentarily if the fear had caused him to begin hallucinating, but he could have sworn that he had heard Squall's voice. He looked to the windshield again. He felt as though a time warp had formed around him. The car seemed to be moving in slow motion. Rinoa's wild visage faded from view and Squall's beautiful face appeared in the reflection of the glass.

"She's going to win, isn't she?" Zell asked despondently. "You're here to take me, aren't you?"

_I'm not coming for you just yet, Zell._ Squall's face was as serious as it had been when he was alive. _Someone still needs you on this plane. Don't give up._

"How can I stop her?"

_You were a hero, Zell. You saved the world. Don't forget your strength. Now you have to be your own hero. Fight, and you will win._

"Fight," Zell repeated, "but it's been so long since I last fought. I've lost all my skills."

_Fight, and you will win._ Squall said once more. _Seifer is waiting for you. He took off the ring. Come back to him so that he can give it to you._

"He took off the ring?" Zell asked hopefully. Squall smiled and faded away. The car sped up and Rinoa's psychotic face reappeared through the windshield. Zell clutched himself harder against the hood, digging his fingers into the space where the windshield wipers were hibernating.

He couldn't let Rinoa succeed in her sick plan. Maybe he wasn't as strong as he had been when he was a SeeD, but he had to try. Mustering all his strength, Zell thrust his fist forward through the windshield and smashed the glass, shattering it into millions of tiny shards.

Rinoa cried out in surprise and swerved the car violently, scraping it again the barriers of the highway. Zell realized that she had driven them both onto the new bridge being built between Timber and Balamb. Zell knew that the bridge had yet to be completed and it was only a matter of time before Rinoa drove them both straight into the deep ocean water below.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter XVIII: I'll Cover You

Zell pulled himself forward and fell through the shattered windshield into the front passenger seat. Kicking the back of the seat so hard that it snapped off, he managed to upright himself. Rinoa shrieked and screamed the entire time, angry that her prey had ruined her opportunity to run him down. Forgetting to steer, she let go of the wheel and pounced upon Zell.

Zell yelped as not only the insane creature dug her nails deep into his wrists, but bit hard into his right shoulder. She was no longer human in appearance. She had become a rabid jackal, concerned with only succeeding in the kill.

As the car swerved violently across the road, Zell looked ahead and saw the sign: BRIDGE OUT TWO MILES AHEAD. He had only minutes to escape. If he didn't stop her, Rinoa would kill them both.

Zell took his left fist and slammed it into Rinoa's temple. She hit the dashboard and appeared stunned for a few moments, but the woman was so full of adrenaline that she recovered and leapt back at him. Zell dealt another hard blow, this time breaking her nose. Even as the blood flowed like a river from her nostrils, she was unfazed.

"You can ruin my face all you want, you filthy skank," she spat at him. "I'll still make sure you never feel Seifer's cock up your ass ever again!"

BRIDGE OUT ONE MILE AHEAD. Zell saw the sign out of the corner of his eye.

"Rinoa, stop this madness!" Zell yelled. "You're going to get both of us killed!"

"What do I care?" she wailed, the blood from her nose, further staining her soiled formerly white dress. "I have nothing left to lose. You took Squall and Seifer away from me. They were the only two men I have ever loved. You ruined my life!"

BRIDGE OUT HALF MILE AHEAD.

"I'm sorry, Rinoa!" Zell was desperate to get her to stop the car. "Please understand I fell in love too. I loved Squall more than anything, and I love Seifer just as much. I didn't make them leave you."

"So you're saying that it's my fault they picked you over me?" Rinoa slapped him hard across the face so quickly that he had no chance to block the attack. "How dare you! How dare you tell me that they picked a whore like you by choice when they had me!"

BRIDGE OUT ONE HUNDRED FEET.

Zell could see the end of the bridge in sight. He knew Rinoa wouldn't stop the car. He wasn't sure if he could make it in one piece, but he knew he had to get out of the car right away. He kicked Rinoa swiftly in the chest, sending her slamming against the door on her side, and then unlocked the passenger side door. Rinoa realized what he was doing and lunged for him, but he kicked her back again.

"By the way, Rinoa," Zell said, "Seifer and I made love for the first time the day before your wedding, and the bridge is out right ahead."

"The bridge is out!" Rinoa cried. Zell opened the door and leapt from the car, hitting the asphalt and rolling. Seconds later the car flew off the bridge, aiming directly for one of the supporting pillars.

"Oh shit…" Rinoa said in one last gasping breath.

The car hit the cement pillar with such force that it burst into flames upon impact. The burning metal heap slid down into the water, and a huge cloud of black smoke rose into the air. Zell weakly lifted his head and gasped. There was no way Rinoa could have survived that crash. In her rage, she had destroyed herself. He was still alive.

Exhausted and wounded, Zell slumped over and lost consciousness.

"Zell… Zell…" 

Zell opened his eyes and found himself lying in a hospital bed. A nurse was checking the IV that stuck out his arm, but his hand was clenched by another warm hand. Seifer was in the neighboring bed, and it had been pushed closer to Zell's so that the two lovers were nearer to each other.

"The nurses moved the bed for me," Seifer explained.

"Yeah, would you believe this guy?" the nurse said exasperatedly. "You came in looking so beat up that he was a wreck. He kept trying to get out of bed to come over and hold you, so we finally just moved the bed. I threatened to tie him down if he didn't behave himself."

"Seifer..." Zell felt his eyes fill with tears. "I thought Rinoa was going to kill me."

"You're still here," the taller man said soothingly. "She failed, and her end was no one's fault but her own."

"I was so scared..."

"Shh," Seifer smiled. "It's over now. No one can ever come between us ever again."

"You mean that?"

"It's a promise, Zell," Seifer reassured him. "Because you see the things they never see. All you want, I can be, because now you know me. And I'm not afraid."

"I'm not afraid, either," Zell said. "Anymore."

A long moment of silence passed, the two men staring quietly at one another, smiling. The feeling was strange. The johns, pimps, and ex-fiancées were gone from their lives forever. Now it was just the two of them, alone and unafraid of danger. It seemed so strange for there to be only peace on the path ahead.

"Hey, Seif," Zell thought. "Where will we live?"

"We'll manage," Seifer said in a matter of fact tone. "Until then, I'll be you shelter." He winked. "Just pay me back with one thousand kisses."

"Sweet kisses I've got to spare," Zell said happily. "I'll be there and I'll cover you."


	19. Epilogue

Epilogue: One Last Good-Bye

"I still can't believe you're gone…"

Zell stared solemnly at the tombstone, tracing the letters gently with his fingers. His heart ached with sorrow. Zell couldn't believe that he had been gone for six months already. He was so young, and he had his whole life ahead of him. It was unfair that fate had taken him instead of the little blond man. At least he had finally gotten recognition worthy of his character. He was given a simple, but elegant funeral, and while only a handful had actually showed up, they were the people that truly cared about him. He would be missed.

"Zell, you have to let go," a voice said from behind him. "It was not your fault, and he would be thrilled to know that you finally found the happiness you deserve."

"I know," Zell let out a small sob. "I just wish I could have saved him in the end."

"Betcha he and Squall are up in heaven, knocking back drinks, trading embarrassing stories about you."

"Oh, Seifer." Zell stood and faced the taller man. "You really think so? Squall has some pretty good blackmail on me."

"Hah, I'd like to hear about it sometime," Seifer winked.

"Maybe," Zell said, "but after I get some good blackmail on you first!"

Seifer laughed heartily. He took Zell gently by the hand and pulled him forward into a kiss. Zell threw his arms around Seifer's neck and embraced him tightly, never wanting to let go.

"I love you, Seifer."

"I love you, Zell."

"I guess it's just going to be the two of us from now on," Zell sighed happily. "Together forever."

Seifer grinned and kissed him once more.

And no one came between them ever again.

FIN


End file.
